Self Love & Self Care

All about improving self-love habits. Learn how to love yourself again.

the best self care ideas for women

The Best 101 Self Care Ideas For A Happier Life

The Best 101 Self Care Ideas For a Happier Life

self care ideas for women, self care activity ideas

Looking for self care activity ideas for women? You’ve come to the right place. These are the top 101 self care ideas to be happier and live your best life.

You’re sure to find some great ideas and inspiration from this extensive list of self care activity ideas for women.

This self care list is a wide range of ideas so that there’s something for everyone. The self care ideas range from free to inexpensive to pricey, depending on your needs.

Also, some ideas are DIY and super easy, while others require some planning and effort to pull off. That means that not everything will appeal to you but some will be perfect for you.

If you have very little time and you’re looking for a few simple yet effective daily self care ideas, you’ll love this post.

I’ve also made it easy for you to plan your self care activities with a free self care planner printable. So, be sure to grab that!

Affiliate Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link.

Why Is Self Care Necessary

I’ve come very far with understanding the need for self care. When I was younger and even as a new wife and mom, I felt that self care was selfish. I could easily spend that time helping someone else.

Even after burning out more times than I can count, I would repeat the same cycle – keep going until my body or mind forced me to stop. I would rest, recuperate and then do it again.

Now, I know all too well the importance of self care. If you want to live your best life and give your best to others then you must take care of yourself FIRST.

These are the incredible benefits you gain from practicing self care:

  • Higher self esteem
  • Knowing your self worth
  • Healthier lifestyle
  • Improved stress management
  • Stronger relationships with loved ones
  • Higher productivity

How To Make Time For Yourself

If you’re feeling like you have no time for yourself, ensure that you’re prioritizing your day efficiently.

The key to having time for yourself if you’re super busy and think you can’t fit it in is understanding the importance of self care.

Always, always remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup.

How To Create A Self Care Plan

Creating a self care plan should be fun! Essentially, you’re going to spend some time thinking of your biggest needs and jotting them down.

You can create daily, weekly and monthly plans depending on your lifestyle and your needs.

Of course, you may need to switch and shift some things around and that’s ok.

Once you ensure that at the end of each day you’ve practiced self care in the way you need, that’s all that matters.

You can create your own planner or use the free one provided in this post.

There are three ways to use my free self care planner pdf printable.

  1. Planner by time – select your favorite picks from the self care list of 101 ideas and jot them down in the desired time frames.
  2. Daily Planner by self care category – select and write in your top self care activities in the categories and day slots provided. This allows you to create a holistic self care plan.
  3. Thirty Day Self Care Challenge – select your top picks and create a 30 day self care challenge for yourself that you can start at any time!
free self care planner printable
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Self Care Categories

When you’re planning and practicing self care, you want to be sure that you’re being holistic in your approach.

Ensure that you’re addressing each of these areas in your life:

  1. Spiritual
  2. Emotional
  3. Mental
  4. Physical
  5. Practical
  6. Social

Spiritual Self Care

Spiritual self-care seeks to nurture your spirit. It can be religious but it doesn’t have to be.

This is a great explanation from Chopra.com:

A spiritual self-care practice is any ritual that connects you to your true self, the real you. The real you is the raw expression of who you were meant to be and offer this world. It’s energizing, inspiring, and most of all, it feels right. Perhaps you already are experiencing this or maybe have had glimpses of what this might look or feel like. Becoming familiar with how you feel is an important part of being able to navigate through life. Accessing that part of yourself through spiritual self-care can be rewarding on many levels.

https://chopra.com/articles/10-spiritual-self-care-tips-you-need-to-know

Emotional Self Care

Taking time to understand and really feel your emotions is what basic emotional self care involves.

When you understand and are in touch with your feelings and it’s also important to accept them.

This in turn can help you to accept the choices and decisions you’ve made in your life.

By practicing emotional self-care regularly, you value and honor the fact that you are in control and in charge of your emotions and your reactions to things in your life.

Emotional self-care activities increase the likelihood of you enjoying healthier self-esteem and self-worth.

These empower you in every aspect of your life from personal to professional and so it’s worth it to take the time to care for yourself emotionally.

Mental Self Care

This form of self care involves activities that stimulate you mentally and help to reduce your overall stress levels.

Mental self care is any activity that aids in improving your overall mental health and is very beneficial in your everyday life.

I know that you live in a very fast-paced world and sometimes slowing down seems impossible.

You probably have never-ending to-do lists and commitments.

But, in order to be at your best and increase productivity, the first and most important commitment needs to be caring for yourself.

As with any form of self care, these types of activities would be different for everyone.

Your choices of mental self care would involve anything that would relax and destress you.

Reading a book, enjoying the sunset, self reflection and journaling are great examples for mental self care activities.

Physical Self Care

These self care activities strive to improve your physical fitness and health. Any activity that will give your overall health a boost will fall into this category.

By caring for yourself physically, you will enjoy the benefits of being physically fit, having a healthier and stronger immune system, better moods, higher energy levels.

Some examples include following a healthy diet, walking, running, sports, sleeping, staying hydrated and caring for your skin and hair.

Practical Self Care

These self care activities seek to reduce stressful times in your life.

They’re may not instantly feel like you’re pampering yourself but they are very helpful to your everyday life.

Some ideas are creating routines or budgeting.

By establishing good routines and habits and staying on top of your spending or even meal planning, you’re reducing possible stressors.

For instance, with budgeting, you will be aware of your spending habits and saving capabilities. Just having a clear picture of your finances can reduce and even eliminate so much stress.

Another example is meal planning. As a mom of three young ones and far from being a chef, I can’t emphasize how much this helps me!

When I have everything planned out, everything flows so much better – from getting groceries to cooking. I’m not fumbling each day wondering what to cook or if I have ingredients to cook something.

Creating routines may seem daunting to some but it helps our family so much! It allows us to basically automate parts of our day which has drastically reduced my stress.

Instead of constantly remembering to do things and reminding the kids to do things, more often than not we get the regular daily things done with no stress.

If you’re interested to find out exactly how we create routines, I have a great post to get you started.

Social Self Care

These types of self care activities enhance and deepen your relationships with others.

Connecting with others and developing meaningful relationships are very important to over all happiness.

Positive and healthy relationships with others provide the necessary support throughout your life. Nurturing these relationships brings joy to your life, comfort and is a source of stress relief.

It’s an incredible feeling to know you have people you can count on and who can count on you.

It’s important to have genuine people who will listen and understand you as you express yourself. People who will laugh at a joke that others wouldn’t.

People who love you unconditionally and will support you through tough times and who allow you to support them as well.

It’s also important to maintain relationships with others who accept and love you for you.

People who will also encourage you to constantly develop and be your best self and who you can comfortably do the same for throughout life.

101 Self Care Activity Ideas

Grab your pen and your free self care printable and let’s get to planning your self care activities!

Self Care Ideas:

  1. Practice breathing techniques
  2. Get enough quality sleep
  3. Go to bed earlier
  4. Get up without your alarm
  5. Get enough rest and down time
  6. Have a PJ day – relax and laze all day
  7. Snuggle with your partner or kids
  8. Laugh more
  9. Spend quality time with your loved ones
  10. Give your loved ones extra hugs
  11. Attend religious sessions
  12. Pray
  13. Stretch
  14. Meditate
  15. Practice positive thinking
  16. Write a list of things you’re grateful for
  17. Practice self love
  18. Practice self compassion
  19. Write a list of your accomplishments
  20. Work on self improvement – Make a list and plan to work on things you want to improve about yourself
  21. Digital detox
  22. Attend therapy
  23. Release frustrations and enjoy a good cry
  24. Say no to people and things that don’t serve our best interests
  25. Put yourself first more
  26. Join a support group
  27. Cuddle with your pet
  28. Drink sufficient water
  29. Have a healthy, well balanced diet
  30. Enjoy a warm shower (or cold if you life in a warmer climate)
  31. Have a warm bath
  32. Facial
  33. DIY manicure
  34. DIY pedicure
  35. Get a massage
  36. Enjoy a spa day
  37. Deep condition your hair
  38. Get a hair cut
  39. Get a makeover
  40. Dry brush your skin
  41. Exfoliate your skin
  42. Moisturize your skin
  43. Burn a scented candle
  44. Diffuse and enjoy essential oils
  45. Read an inspiring book
  46. Create or follow an inspiring quotes board on Pinterest
  47. Enjoy staring at nature
  48. Look up at the blue sky
  49. Enjoy a stary night
  50. Listen to music
  51. Dance
  52. Listen to podcasts
  53. Baking – Learn to bake if you can’t yet
  54. Cooking – Learn to cook if you can’t yet
  55. Gardening
  56. Knitting
  57. Crafting
  58. Coloring
  59. Crossword puzzles
  60. Build a puzzle
  61. Word search
  62. Learn a new skill
  63. Learn a new language
  64. Find and nurture you creativity
  65. Enroll in a class
  66. Journal
  67. Blogging
  68. Volunteer – help someone out
  69. Compliment someone
  70. Make someone smile
  71. Be kind
  72. Get some fresh air and enjoy the sun
  73. Take a scenic walk
  74. Enjoy the sunrise
  75. Enjoy the sunset
  76. Go to the beach or lake
  77. Go jogging
  78. Exercise
  79. Yoga
  80. Pilates
  81. Bike riding
  82. Sports
  83. Declutter your home
  84. Clean your home
  85. Decorate your home
  86. Start new good habits
  87. Replace bad habits
  88. Create a vision board
  89. Challenge yourself
  90. Create a bucket list
  91. Create and start routines throughout your day
  92. Watch some tv
  93. Enjoy a solo date
  94. Go out for a meal by yourself or with a friend
  95. Enjoy tea or hot cocoa with a loved one
  96. Go to the movies
  97. Experience something new
  98. Drive around
  99. Go on vacation
  100. Buy yourself something practical
  101. Buy yourself something really nice

Self Care Ideas for Women at a glance

Even though some of these may be very specific to women, self care is for everyone and these self care activity ideas can give you inspiration to help you create your self care plan.

Now, you don’t have to wonder what to do on self care days, nights or Sundays.

You’ve got 101 ideas to choose from to create a holistic and unique personal self care plan.

Save the pin above or bookmark this page to revisit for self care ideas whenever you need inspiration.

Also, don’t forget to download your free self care planner pdf printable and keep it handy to help you on your self care journey.

Let me know what you’ve come up with in the comments below.

Also, check out these posts to help you on your self-development journey:

The Best 101 Self Care Ideas For A Happier Life Read More »

How To Find Time For Yourself As A Mom

How To Find Time For Yourself As A Mom Without Getting Up Before Everyone Else In The House

How To Find Time For Yourself As A Mom

(Without Getting Up Before Everyone Else In The House)

how to find time for yourself as a mom - without waking up before everyone else in the house

Learning to find time for yourself as a mom is one of the most important and valuable lessons. As a mom, it feels so incredibly impossible to find time for ourselves. There just aren’t enough hours in the day. It’s easy to brush things off by saying you just don’t have the time.

To get in some quality me-time, some moms recommend getting up before everyone else in the house. I’m thrilled that they have been able to make this work for them. I’ve tried this and it wasn’t for me as I got exceedingly cranky throughout the day and then, of course, I’m still the last one to go to bed. 

I need and love sleep. I prefer to get as much sleep as I need as opposed to forcing myself to get up to have some me time and then feeling tired and cranky later in the day.

So I set out to find a better way for me. Surely, with 24 hours in every day, I could find a way to get all that I need to get done and that includes some self-care. 

Affiliate Disclosure: “This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link.”

Does Waking Up Earlier Make You More Productive?

Waking up early doesn’t make you more productive—there’s no difference in socioeconomic standing between early risers and night owls. What makes you more productive is becoming deliberate about how you live and work—including with your wakeup ritual.

A life of productivity 

I’ve successfully been able to find time for myself without having to wake up before everyone else and I really want to share these tips with you. They can also easily be adopted for moms who work outside of the home. 

How To Find Time As A Busy Mom

How to Find Time Throughout The Day for Yourself As A Mom

If you feel like you have no time to yourself, you have to find that time and create. These are the steps I took to free up time to do the things that really matter to me 

1. Track your existing day 

Perhaps the most important step is to see where you’re currently spending your time. This helps to establish when you can ‘create’ some time for yourself. 

Most times it’s not that we don’t have time for ourselves, it’s just that we have to shuffle some things. For instance, ask your partner to take over a chore; or we may most likely need to cut out or cut down on something(s) from our day.

When I downloaded…. and tracked my day, it revealed the shameful amount of time I spent on social media and instant messaging. Without realizing it, I was prioritizing each notification

I took the time to prioritize and create new habits for myself. Now I have more time to focus on what’s really important to me. 

Now, my phone stays on silent (apart from my husband and family) and I’ve removed notifications from social media. This allows me to focus when I’m with my kids, hubby, working, doing chores, etc. Once I started doing this not only did I “find” time but there was a significant increase in the quality I was able to give.

2. Understand the Need to Find Time As A Mom

This was also a big issue for me. Making time for myself wasn’t a priority because I didn’t see the importance. I struggled through infertility for so long, that I felt like being a mom was my only identity. I felt like I had to and wanted to spend every waking hour doing things that concerned my kids. 

Of course, I burned myself out and sure enough, I was no longer efficient at anything! Yes, I got things done because it’s what I do lol but I was always so tired and stressed. Pouring from an empty cup is no good for anyone!

Once I really understood that it wasn’t just ok, it was necessary to take time for myself, life got a whole lot better.

3. Prioritize Your Life

When you prioritize you’re able to identify what means the most to you and your family. Using the time you tracked, determine what is most important, what can be minimized or cut. 

Because “I had no time”, I would try to work while the kids were playing. Of course, this meant that I’d become extremely frustrated as I couldn’t concentrate. I then tried getting up earlier than everyone or staying up way too late and get similarly frustrated.

Now, I set my goals and prioritize everything. I’m now able to plan better and block out times to give my kids, work, chores and myself, quality attention.

4. Create Routines For Your Family

I’m a believer in routines as it helps efficiency with everything! We end up forming habits and things become second nature. 

Create and follow a routine to help free up some time by cutting how long chores take. 

5. Share The Chore Load

Chore charts are a must with kids! It teaches them responsibility and also eases you up. Kids love to imitate us and they love to feel important and accomplished. Very simple examples are allowing kids to tidy up their toys before moving on to another toy and clearing themselves after a meal. 

6. Decide What You Want To Do Beforehand

What may be relaxing for others, may not be what is relaxing for me. For instance screen time for some is a welcomed break but for me, it doesn’t leave me feeling rejuvenated. One of the things I love to do is sit on my porch and enjoy nature. 

Deciding ahead of time what you’d like to do when you have your downtime helps to maximize that time. When I started implementing ‘me’ time, I’d spend half of it wondering what I should do. Now that I plan ahead or at least have a few ideas, I’m able to use the entire time just enjoying what I set out to do.

7. Use Nap Times To Your Advantage 

Instead of doing chores when the kids are napping, take that time for yourself. Take a nap, pamper yourself, read a book – do whatever makes you happy.

8. Ask For Time Off

When I transitioned from being a full time working mom to working from home, I found I had less time, even though without the commute and so on, I should have had more. 

As a working mom, I felt like I had a little more time to myself during the day. However, the early mornings, the commute, the daily work demands come along with the chores, evening activities.

Being a stay at home mom or working from home comes with its own set of challenges. Even though we try to block out times and use routines and schedules, it may still be difficult to fit in some quality rejuvenation time. This is especially true if you’re with your kids 24/7. 

Even though we do everything “right”, we still feel like we don’t get sufficient time for ourselves. 

In these instances, ask for assistance. Organize with hubby or a family member or friend so that you can have some time.

How To Find Time As A Mom - Busy Mom Guide
How To Find Time As A Mom – Busy Mom Guide

Take Away

Needless to say, the outcome of ensuring that I have sufficient uninterrupted time has been nothing short of life-changing. I am happier and all of my relationships have improved. My kids are happier. My house and business benefitted drastically as well.

We all have the same number of hours to work with each day and the trick in maximizing your time is in making the right choices for you and your family. 

By following the tips above you will most certainly be able to find and capitalize on some much needed time to rejuvenate your soul. 

I’d love to hear how you have been able to find time for yourself! I look forward to reading your experience or tips in the comments below and please share if this post has helped you. 

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Daily Self Care Ideas For Moms

5 Easy Self Care Ideas For Moms

5 Easy Daily Self Care Ideas

For Moms Who Have No Time

self care ideas for happy moms

These easy self care ideas for moms are simple enough for the busiest mom. These are great self-care tips for days when you’re short on time and don’t know what to do.

Pampering yourself and relieving stress are as necessary as eating. This is definitely an area I continuously struggle with as a mom.

There’s always something to do that feels more important than taking care of me – writing that now seems so ridiculous but nonetheless, a lot of moms feel that way.

Putting yourself and your needs last almost feels natural. But, at the end of the day, after you’ve taken care of everyone else, who’s taking care of you? 

I knew that I needed to start doing things for ME but I honestly didn’t know where to start. I googled and went on Pinterest and while I read a lot of great ideas (body scrubs, facials, mani & Pedi), I just didn’t want to do those – I tried a few but they just didn’t make me feel rejuvenated – perhaps I was doing it wrong lol. For me, those things feel like more work (maybe not the bubble bath but I don’t have a tub!).

So through trial and error, I had to find what worked for me.

Self care and pampering yourself isn’t the same for everyone – it can be as simple or as extravagant as you need it to be.

It could be a walk in the park or a shopping spree. Whatever makes your mind and soul feel happy – that’s what you need to do.

Affiliate Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link.

Why Self Care Is Important For Moms

For a long time since having my sons, I didn’t understand the need for “me time”. I felt such joy being around them and caring for them that I really didn’t feel like I needed anything more. Fast forward to becoming a stay at home mom!

Not only did I understand the need for some alone time to rejuvenate but I felt like my body screamed at me to retract and rejuvenate.

No matter where we are, they find us! We joke about it, it’s cute and yes, of course we love it to an extent because we know it means that we’re doing a great job and we’re their world. But not taking time to yourself as a mom is downright dangerous.

If you continue to give your all to your families only, you’re going to burn out. Not only are you going to feel overwhelmed but your health will suffer (headaches, extreme exhaustion, to name a few).

You also risk being short-tempered and may even start to resent our loved ones.

Not taking care of yourself can be counter productive. You aren’t taking the time to care for yourself, presumably because you have none. But when (and you will) crash will be forced to take the time to heal. It’s therefore arguably better to take a little time each day to practice self-care and rejuvenate.

Making self care a priority is important as a mom because first of all, you deserve it! You work tirelessly for your family and you deserve it!

Another reason self-care is so important is that it allows you to be at your best for yourself, your kids and your partner.

You’re also teaching your kids that it’s a necessary part of life so that they grow up understanding the importance of self-care and so, they’re more likely to practice it.

5 daily self care ideas for moms

How To Make Time For Yourself As a Mom

Now you understand the importance of having some alone time to rejuvenate and reboot. But, as busy moms, how do we do that when it feels like we barely have time to complete all of our daily tasks.

Here are some ideas to find some time every day to practice self care:

  • Part ways with your mobile device for a set time frame EVERY day!
  • Create routines for you and your family (the time-saving benefits will surprise you!)
  • Ensure that the kids have quiet, alone time too!
  • Maximize naptimes by planning ahead of time

How To Create A Self Care Routine for Moms

Creating routines for you and your family is one of the best things you can do for everyone. So much time is wasted when you just don’t know what you should be doing.

A lot of time can be spent on getting kids to do things throughout the day but once they follow a routine, they adapt very quickly.

Download the free self care planner from the freebie library.

Selfcare Planner Free Printable

5 Easy Self Care Ideas For Moms

I personally don’t like spending a lot of money on myself. I have to carefully think of the pros and cons before spending money.

So while I may enjoy spa days or shopping sprees, spending that money will cause me more stress than relaxation.

So, I had to come up with cheaper (preferably free) ways to rejuvenate myself.

These are the best self care activities. They’re so simple and effective!

1. Disconnect for a bit 

A mini digital detox rejuvenates me like nothing else right now.

There was a time in my life where my Blackberry (remember those? lol) was stuck to me. If I didn’t have it, I almost felt naked. 

Even after having my two sons, I was still heavily connected.

After having my baby girl, I felt like I was drowning and I didn’t know what to do so, I took off my data and it was AMAZING!

Yes, I missed my friends but instead of messaging and checking my phone every minute, we had phone conversations and visits!

I really underestimated the power of hearing someone’s voice and spending quality in-person time with them.

This quickly became my favorite way of destressing and rejuvenating myself. At night, I put down my phone and either spend some alone time or spend some time with my hubby.

I’ve found that pampering myself doesn’t always have to mean alone time. As parents of 3 young kids, spending quality time with your significant other can be just as rejuvenating. 

2. Positive Thinking and Affirmations

Being positive has some incredible health benefits.

The main one for me is that it lowers my stress levels and allows me to function more efficiently.

Try these short positive affirmations and these self love affirmations to manifest more of what you want in your life.

It’s true that trying to be positive can be harder than it seems.

I’m not a negative person but I do vent and I’ve realized that having negative people around me can be draining sometimes. 

While venting is necessary from time to time, it can become addictive and somewhat dangerous. It can lead to being stuck in your negative feelings.

When you need to vent, let it out, then regroup and start finding solutions or at the very least, develop a better mindset about the situation. 

When you think positively, life just gets better! You train your mind to see the good and to see better perspectives.

I absolutely love reading positive, motivational, and uplifting quotes. It improves my mindset, even when I’m already in a good mood.

One of the first things I like to do and one of the last things before bed is to read positive quotes and reflect on them.

Another good idea can be to get the entire family involved. You can incorporate it into your family life by selecting a quote of the day or week and putting it on the fridge.

3. Head To Your Favorite Place! 

Having a favorite place where you feel stress and frustrations leave your body is everything!

Mine is the beach. I love to stare into the ocean, hear the waves crashing, and just dream or think. 

Similarly, find a place where you feel at peace – whether it’s in nature or at home. If it’s possible for you to get to that place more regularly, I recommend that you make it a priority.

4. Work on your physical fitness

No, I don’t mean you have to do an hour of exercise or HIIT – though if that’s your thing then, please! Do it! 

A simple walk in your neighborhood or park can do wonders for your physical and mental health. Seeing and feeling your physical fitness transform is extremely rewarding.

Not only can you achieve physical goals through exercise, but the overall health benefits are second to none. 

5. Get a massage 

I think as moms we all yearn for this one.

I don’t love getting a professional massage and fortunately, my husband gives the best massages! Getting a relaxing back or foot massage is the PERFECT way to end my night and ensure that I have a great sleep. 

Self-care Makes You a Better Mom

These are five of the best self-care activities and tips for moms. They will reduce stress and rejuvenate your mind, body, and soul.

Before experimenting with what I needed, I fumbled through the suggestions I found online and from friends. I, therefore, encourage you to find your go tos and start implementing them in your daily life. 

If you need a much longer list of self care activities to help you with your self care routines, try this list of 101 self care ideas.

I’d love to hear from you, moms – what are some of your favorite self care ideas ?

Also, check out these posts to help you on your self-development journey:

5 self care ideas for moms who have no time

5 Easy Self Care Ideas For Moms Read More »

how to learn to love yourself again

How To Love Yourself Again – Best 10 Ways To Learn To Love Yourself More

Best 10 Ways To Learn To Love Yourself More – How To Learn To Love Yourself Again

how to love yourself again - learn how to love yourself again

Can you learn how to love yourself again? How can you love yourself more? From time to time, finding ways to love yourself again may prove to be a little difficult.

If you are struggling with loving yourself, try these top 10 self love tips to learn how to love yourself again and how to love yourself more.

Why Is It So Hard To Learn How To Love Yourself? 

For some, learning how to love yourself again can be one of the hardest concepts to learn and practice. It was definitely a struggle for me.

I’ve never been a ‘girly-girl’. I grew up pretty tomboy-ish and learned not to let my feelings show too much.

After I had my first baby though, I became extremely sensitive. I cried for everything, I felt like things hurt me more deeply than before and it took me longer to snap out of sad moods.

Even though I really didn’t like this new version of myself, I chalked it up to hormones and tried to live with it. I hoped that after a while I would go back to normal – or what I thought was normal.

Five years and two babies later, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was tired of feeling so sad.

I started researching postpartum self-esteem issues and came across articles about self-love. 

The articles were pretty eye-opening and I quickly realized I had a lot to learn.

While I liked myself enough to enjoy my own company and laugh at my jokes, self-love was not something that I had ever practiced.

I sought love from everyone in my life except for myself. In fact, I’ve learned that I’m way too hard on myself.

We tend to be our own worst critics.

When we dislike something about ourselves we can fixate on it so much that we only see that element of ourselves.

We tell ourselves that because of it we deserve less. We can be unnecessarily hard on ourselves in other ways as well.

When we make a mistake, we might beat ourselves up over it and focus on it regardless of the feelings of others in our lives that it was just a mistake.

We may also fear that if we are confident we could come off as narcissistic or egotistical. I’ve realised this affects many women, especially those around my age who like me were never taught to be comfortable letting our voices be heard.

What Is Self-Love?

So, what exactly is self-love and what does it mean to have self-love?

It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.

Psychology Today

Self-love means that you:

  • Prioritize your needs. 
  • Value yourself. 
  • Know your worth and you don’t settle for less than you deserve. 
  • Love yourself unconditionally
  • Are gentle, kind and tough when necessary. 
  • Are compassionate with yourself.

what happens when you learn how to love yourself again

So, why is self love so important?

The positive impacts that come with mindfully practicing self-love are endless.

These are just a few self-love benefits that will add a lot of value to your life after you learn to love yourself more:

  • Acceptance of yourself
  • Healthy mind, body, and soul
  • Ability to pinpoint stressors and rejuvenate when needed
  • Knowing your worth
  • Ability to set appropriate boundaries with others
  • Humility
  • Ability to give more freely of yourself – with no strings, with no resentment, and with no expectations
  • Confidence
  • Positive mindset
  • Less comparison of yourself with others
how to love yourself again - learn how to love yourself again

10 Ways To Learn To Love Yourself Again:

  1. Journal to start to love yourself again
  2. Repeat positive affirmations to love yourself more
  3. Be compassionate and forgive yourself
  4. Invest and believe in yourself
  5. Spend quality time with yourself
  6. Recognize your accomplishments
  7. Challenge and improve yourself
  8. To love yourself again, trust yourself
  9. Practice self-care to love yourself again
  10. Set boundaries

1. Journal to start to love yourself again

I have to constantly be intentional with knowing who I am, what I need and what I want. 

Research and writing have been invaluable to me. Sometimes it’s just too loud in my head.

When I think too much about everyone else’s interests and feelings, mine can get lost – and as a mom, I’m always thinking about everyone else’s feelings. 

So I take a few mins every day to write.

I write something that I love about myself… Everyday! 

I use these self love journal prompts to make my morning journaling easier.

Anything that I would want to know about a loved one in my life, I asked about myself and I wrote down my answer. 

To learn how to love yourself again, try these other journal prompts, deep self reflection questions for personal growth or start with these 50 questions to find your best self.

2. Repeat positive affirmations to love yourself more

Try to say these positive affirmations and self love affirmations daily to love yourself again.

Doing this was actually hard for me initially – for so many years I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw, not just physically but emotionally too. I’ve constantly tried to change myself for people in my life. 

I wanted to be loved so badly that once someone pointed out a flaw about me, I tried to change it.

So instead of thinking positively about myself, I looked in the mirror and saw flaws. 

At first, I felt silly telling myself good things. But I really was determined to help myself and so I did it. 

This simple step of repeating a positive affirmation every day, proved to be extremely useful to help jump-start my self-love journey and helped me learn how to love myself again. 

3. To Love Yourself Again, Be compassionate and forgive yourself

I’m usually the first to apologize. If I think I hurt someone or I could possibly be the one who caused pain, I am remorseful and I apologize – sometimes when it’s not even warranted. 

When it comes to me though, nope! Not happening. I beat myself up so much. It’s tough love all the way and I leave no room for forgiveness.

I didn’t even know that forgiving myself was important, when in fact it can be more important than being forgiven by someone else.

This was the hardest step for me and took the longest for me to work through.

I wrote down all the things I felt badly about and I worked on forgiving myself for each one. Some took longer than others, but I didn’t rush it. 

I created three columns:

  • The things I needed to forgive
  • The reason(s) it was difficult to forgive myself
  • Something compassionate and kind. At first, I needed to take myself out of it and I thought about what I would have done and said if it were someone else. Now, it’s easier for me to think of being compassionate and kind with myself.

Use these journal prompts to help you forgive yourself.

4. Invest and believe in yourself To Love Yourself Again

I never used to put the same energy into myself that I would with others.

I would invest time and money into any dream my husband or loved ones had but I wouldn’t do it for myself.

Why was it so easy for me to believe in others and see their worth but never my own? 

To start putting my needs and dreams ahead of last place, I started a vision board.

Writing out my dreams and setting goals to reach them helped me to start investing and believing in my own abilities.

All the support I typically gave to everyone else, I started doing for myself as well. I brainstormed, made plans, and became my own cheerleader.

5. Spend quality time with yourself

As an introvert, this one came very easy for me. I typically love to be alone – which I took to mean that I loved myself enough.

But while it was alone time, it wasn’t quality time – I didn’t focus on myself and my needs.

I decided to find things that I enjoyed doing without being digitally connected.

Sometimes I go old-school and pull out my pen and paper for some writing time. I love using journal prompts to help me. Try Self love journal prompts or these 52 Journal prompts.

Other times I love to sit on my porch and enjoy the scenery and my thoughts.

My all-time favorite though is putting on some awesome music and dancing without a care in the world. 

Try these awesome ways to find more time for yourself to fall in love with yourself again.

6. Recognize your accomplishments 

This is a fantastic way to build confidence and feel good about yourself.

You should be proud of the things you’ve done!

I made a nice infographic with many of my key achievements and have it as the wallpaper on my phone and laptop. This way, I’m constantly reminded of the awesome things I’ve done.

As I previously mentioned, it’s so easy to focus on negatives and this helped me to quiet that mental noise.

Whenever I start being harsh with myself, I look at my infographic and remember how much I had worked to achieve each item and how far I’ve come. 

7. Challenge and improve yourself

I used to keep myself in a very safe box. I was pretty aware of my abilities and I stuck with what was easy for me.

But this didn’t allow me to spread my wings.

When I thought about it I had accomplished quite a few things in my life – so why was I willing to just stop there?

Even if I couldn’t do everything I thought about, the awesome thing about dreaming is that there are no limits to it. 

So after overcoming some initial anxiety, I stepped out of my box.

It was SO freeing.

Following a new dream and trying something new or that I once didn’t believe I could do was fun. It boosted my confidence, fulfilled me, and empowered me to continue reaching. 

8. To love yourself again, trust yourself

I’ve always had great instincts. What I lacked was the confidence to follow them.

All the work I had done on my self-love journey up to this point helped me to be able to take that chance on myself.

I’m now able to trust myself and my instincts so much more and this has in turn made trying new things so much easier. 

It also helps me not freak out when my 3 little ones and my husband put their trust in me, because I know I deserve it.

9. Practice self-care to love yourself again

To love yourself again, practice self care every day.

This was another step that was a direct result of learning myself. After I got married and especially after I became a mom, I thought it was selfish to take time for myself because my family needed me.

I didn’t understand that if I took care of myself I would be able to give them a much better version of me.

Now, I am more in tune with my needs and I understand the importance of taking the time to rejuvenate.

I actually enjoy it and no longer see it as a hindrance or burden to anyone else. My family also understands that I’m putting myself in a position to be the best mom and wife (and person) that I can be.

When you learn to love yourself in this way, you also make it easier to love everyone else around you.

Try this list of 101 self care ideas if you need some inspiration to learn to love yourself again.

10. Set boundaries

Boundary setting with loved ones and acquaintances is such a critical aspect of life that so many of us overlook.

We accept poor or sub-standard treatment from others to avoid conflict, and for many other reasons, but the damage this does to us over time is significant.

Many of us have or have had at least one toxic relationship that we, for whatever reason, allow to go on despite the hurt it causes us. This could be a “friend”, family member or co-worker.

When we aren’t confident enough to stand up for ourselves, these relationships can drain us physically, mentally and emotionally and add to our already stressful lives.

This proves to be the most difficult for me to implement but since I’ve learned to love myself again and appreciate my worth, I know when I deserve to be treated better, and with that confidence, setting boundaries will eventually become an easier habit.

how to love yourself again - learn how to love yourself again

Learn How To Love Yourself AgainIt’s Never Too Late

I’m a firm believer that everything happens at the right time. Having now fully committed to self-love, do I wish I had done it years ago?

Sure! But given my life and circumstances, my journey may not have been as effective as it is now.

It’s important to remember that it’s never too late to improve yourself, which includes learning how to love yourself again and more.

Self love is a continuous process and implementing it in your life will be one of the most beneficial things you do for yourself and your family.

I encourage you to invest in yourself. Start your self-love journey and learn to love yourself today.

I really hope this article has inspired you to jumpstart your self-love journey to learn how to love yourself again.

No matter where you are on the path, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

Also, check out these posts to help you on your self-development journey:

How To Love Yourself Again – Best 10 Ways To Learn To Love Yourself More Read More »

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